Take Your Son to Work
by Anti-Trend Publishing
Summary: Deadpool has a son!  What could this possibly mean?  That family chaos will insue.  There's action, violence, swearing, no one cares about the fourth wall, and insanity.  It's all about the insanity.  O.C. based off actual character, "Tito."
1. Chapter 1

Foreword:

This is my second fanfic, and I'm still getting used to it. You already know that's it about Deadpool, but it's also about my original character. That's all I have to say here. It will take a little bit to get used to the voices, and to make it easy; italicized are one voice and bold is the other voice.

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Disclaimer:

I do not own Deadpool. If I did own Deadpool there would be an animated series. Also, I do not own anything mentioned in this fanfic beyond the ideas. Example; I do not own Hannah Montana, Outback Steakhouse, etc.

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"Bang… Bang, bang… Bang, bang, bang!" the gun totting tween said. With each "bang" he said a piece of hot lead castrated a cardboard cutout of an enemy combatant. He yawned, covered his mouth with a 45 caliber Glock, and lobotomized a mannequin holding a remote activated bazooka.

The bazooka went off anyway. It would easily miss him if he did nothing, but one of the voices in his head said, "_Shoot it! Shoot it, now! It'll be awesome!_"

The second voice in his head said, "**Hell yeah!**"

"Hey, isn't one of you supposed to be my voice of reason of reason and the other creativity?" the tween said aloud.

"**Eh, probably, but we both think it would be awesome**," Reason said.

"_Hey, you know what…? Shut up, and shoot!_" Creativity said.

"Um… It already went by," the tween said, "… Wait a minute! Did you two just have your names revealed? What the hell? I'm the only one who has a body here! What kind of shoddy writing is this?"

"**Alright, alright, reader, you paying attention? His name is Kidpool, he's the bastard son Deadpool. Not like it was a mystery,**" Reason said.

"_What? No one told me we're the son of Deadpool!_"

"'We're' not, I am. You two are the accidental children of my mind and severe trauma."

"_That's beside the point. What is the point is that no one told me!_"

"**We did tell you, but you were fantasizing about Hannah Montana.**"

"Yeah, and that would have been fine, except you fantasized about her making out with Justin Bieber… And not us!"

"_Shut up! Don't tell the reader I was fantasizing about Justin Bieber!_"

"**Um… We thought that was a side thing to Hannah Montana. Are you saying Justin Bieber was the focus…? Gross!**"

"Great, I'm crazy and GAY… No offense to readers of that persuasion," Kidpool said with a sigh.

"_We're not gay, still no offense to readers of that sexual orientation. Hey, look, a subject change; now the writer used your name too!_"

"Woo. Let's celebrate by shooting things."

"**You know, you could have said you wanted to move on, instead of sarcasm.**"

"Sorry, can we move on? We've been standing motionless for the majority of the fan-fiction so far."

"_Wait,_ _we're in a fan-fiction? No one told…_" Creativity said.

"Shut up, **Creativity!**" Kidpool and his voice of Reason said.

"_Fine…_"

"Hmm… _A_ccording to the map we go straight, left, right, right, left, and then straight."

"**Isn't that the back of a kid's menu?**"

"Don't question me!" Kidpool yelled, and followed his own directions.

"**When did you get that thing out, and where did you get it in the first place?**"

"I got it out when you where distracted by creativity and Justin Bieber, and you don't know where beyond Outback Steakhouse."

"**Okay then, but how did you get something without us noticing?**"

"Hey, Creativity is saying something distracting!"

"…"

"**Or not.**"

"Creativity, where are you?"

"…"

"**I think it's because we told him to shut up.**"

"Ah, we're sorry, you sensitive lug."

"_Not that I forgive you two, but we're about to be shot at._"

"**What?**" Reason screamed. The mental reverb stopped Kidpool in his tracks, and then a RPG made contact where he would have been.

"Hellllll~ooooo, copyright-infringement-of-an-alternative-reality-version-of-me-pool!" the original Merc with a Mouth yelled from the top of a building.

"_Father, we meet at last._"

"Creativity, only Reason and I can hear you."

"_Soooooo?_"

"**So pay attention to the guy with the bigger guns than us!**" Reason said who at this point was losing his rationale.

"Wow, you're crazier than I thought you'd be, kid," Deadpool said. He was now behind Kidpool.

"…pool."

"What?" Deadpool asked with his head cocked to the side.

"My name is Kidpool," Kidpool said, and without turning he shot Deadpool in the foot.

"Ow! Bad clone, that's gonna take a whole five seconds to heal!"

"I'm not a clone."

"_Yeah, didn't you hear me say 'father' earlier,_" Creativity said chiming in.

"**No, no, he didn't,**" Reason said, having regained his composure.

"I was wondering when you two would be back."

"Hey, do you have voices in your head too? We're just like Mary-Kate and Ashley, but not quite as crazy," Deadpool said, already healed and walking.

Kidpool turned, trying to pistol whip his much larger father. Deadpool caught his unknown son's gun, and said, "Whoa, okay, Olson twins are a touchy subject."

"Yes, it is, but that's unimportant right now." Kidpool said, already flipping over Deadpool. Once he passed Deadpool's shoulder Kidpool grabbed one of Deadpool's katana from Deadpool's scabbard.

Taking a Darth Vader pose, Kidpool said, "Wade, I am your son."

"I know, I read the part where the writer wrote, '… his unknown son….'"

"Well, that was anticlimactic. Damn you, easily broken fourth wall!"

"Forget about the nonexistent fourth wall, son. Now are you ready for some long lost father/son bonding?"

"If by 'bonding' you mean me cutting off your head, then yeah, let's get bonding!" Kidpool said, changing his Darth Vader pose into a ninja pose. The ninja pose is a katana held above one's, and their left foot forward with their knees bent.

Deadpool pulled out his second katana. He started doing spins, slashed the air, and doing all kinds of sword tricks. Then he stopped, struck a pose, and screamed in a Bruce Lee accent, "Woooo!"

Kidpool sighed, and brought out a 50 cal Magnum revolver. Deadpool was shocked, and then Kidpool shot him. With the katana in Kidpool's right hand and the Magnum in his left he threw his arms into the air. Kidpool, perfectly timed with voices in his head, yelled, "_**Hellz yeah! I'm Indiana Jones, biz-natches!**_"

A voice came in over the intercom, and it said, "Attention all personnel and future heroes there is an intruder on the premises…"

"I know! I shot him TWICE!"

"… Self-destruct will be initiated, and all persons outside of the training area will be evacuated."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Wait… Was that the intercom?"

"Nope, it was me!" Deadpool said, and he had healed again. Deadpool then cut off his son's head.

"Don't worry. First time's always the hardest," Deadpool said, and picked up the assembly needed, life-size, Kidpool. Both of them then collapsed into a point of singularity.

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"After a brief cliffhanger, the sleeping Kidpool had fitful dreams of his origins and why he dresses like a black-ops agent. All in black, with no color whatsoever, and covered in different handguns. His combat boots, obviously hiding guns, knives, and gum, dug into Deadpool's couch," Deadpool narrated, while sitting in a folding chair staring at his son.

"Did you just do the writer's job?" Kidpool said, since he woke up about five minutes ago.

"Holy crap! The gun crazy teen's awake! Don't shoot me again, again!"

"I can't move my arms, and how did you know about the gum?"

"I don't know anything about cheese flavored gum!"

"That's good, because I had spearmint last time I checked."

"Hmm… There goes my plan for pizza flavored gum."

"Sounds good… Hey, why can't I move my arms?"

"I cut off your head."

"M'kay. Why'd you reattach it?"

"Because I always wanted a Deadpool Junior."

"That's cool, but I'm trained to kill you."

"By the losers who blew up their own HQ."

"… Um… Thinking of an intelligent or witty response… Um… Overly stated gasp! You're right, you'll train me, I'll get better, and then I'll kill you!"

"Yes, except for the killing me part."

"Well, I'm pretty set on killing you, but I'm easily bought, so…."

"Is guns, knives, swords, explosives, and an allowance of twenty dollars a week enough for me to buy your love?"

"Twenty-five and possibility of a car… Plus a percent of the merc work money."

"The car has to be a Dead-Mobile."

"…Deal."

"Shake on it!"

"… I still can't move my arms, and I want new clothes."

"Fine," Deadpool said, grabbing his son's limp hand and shaking fiercely.

Still holding Kidpool's hand Deadpool waved at the readers, and said, "That's all folks, until next week. Same Dead-Site, same Dead-Time! Assuming the writer doesn't slack off playing videogames."

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Afterword:

I hope you had fun reading this. Next chapter will be up next Friday, assuming I don't play videogames or get killed by a tsunami, seriously. Also, next chapter will focus on Deadpool and his voices. Finally check out my profile.


	2. Chapter 2

Foreword:

Here's the second chapter, it took me forever to write. I don't really have much to say about it that won't give away the fun. So enjoy reading, sorry if you think it's long.

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Disclaimer:

I do not own Deadpool, Marvel vs. Capcom, Pancakes, etc. I wish I owned one of these, especially pancakes. I would make so much money owning the legal rights to pancakes.

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Deadpool is a master of many things, like karate, judo, ninjitsu, and singing Bea Arthur on karaoke night without a teleprompter. Anyone who knows him would expect this from him. Even people who know of Deadpool expect at least the first three. What most people don't know is that he's also a master of sewing, and he's beyond a master at origami. He was also demonstrating one of his many skills as Kidpool walked in.

Kidpool had to walk around the tail of a five foot tall origami crane. Having come from the shower his mask was still soaking wet because he had refused to remove. Little droplets formed on the mask since it is partially waterproof. Each drop that fell landed on the paper crane, and with every little splash the paper rippled.

Deadpool screamed, "You're hurting Spike!"

The left side of his brain asked him, "**You named it 'Spike?'**"

Kidpool then asked, "You named it 'Spike?'"

The right side of Deadpool's brain then said, "_I told you we should've named him Mr. Fluffles._"

"You should have named it Sir Flaps-a-lot," Kidpool said.

"_I should have thought of that!_"

"**It's an origami crane…! It should have a Japanese name, like Baka, Urusai, or Atamagawarui.**"

"That's way too many syllables," Deadpool said.

"Sir Flaps-a-lot? But it's soooo catchy," Kidpool whined.

"I'm not talking about that name… But it's still too many syllables. I was actually talking to the voices in my noggin."

"'Kay, say hi for me."

"That's not necessary, they can hear you. They can always hear you," Deadpool said in a deep, raspy voice. He also stuck a flashlight under his chin to play with the shadows on his face.

"**Speaking of us hearing everything, you should tell him about that thing.**"

"_Ooh, yeah! Tell him about that thing!_"

"Alright, alright, one little comment and you two freak out."

Kidpool had already moved on to trying to get into the fridge. Spike was unfortunately blocking the refrigerator door, so Kidpool couldn't get open it. His mask stretched as he was about to say something, but he was cut off by Deadpool.

"Guess what! You're not gay!"

"What?" Kidpool said, snapping back a little.

"Yeah, it was brought to the writer's attention that Justin Bieber may not be a guy. Personally I think Justin Bieber is actually another disguise for Miley Cyrus. I mean that kid's hair looks like a combination of Donald Trump and Fabio in some kind of horrible hair chimera.

"But to get back to my point which… Um… Oh right, my point is you're not gay. Even if you were gay it'd be okay, because I'd still be your friend. It'd be okay if you just said, 'I'm gay,' but I'm not gay!" Deadpool said, singing the last part.

"Thank you for that. But are you sure you're not gay? I mean I read the Deadpool and Cable comics, and you acted pretty gay. Not there is anything wrong with that, I say avoiding lawsuits."

"I'm not gay! What about me hitting on Domino in those comics?"

"**Yeah, but she turned you down.**"

"Shut up, voice in my head!"

"The voices in your head pointed out that she turned you down, didn't they?"

Maaay-beee… Hey, let's distract you with clothes shopping!"

"_Because that's not gay,_" the right hemisphere said.

"Ignoring!"

"Ignoring what? Am I not getting new pants? 'Cause my old ones have blood stains, mostly my blood too."

"No, we're going shopping! So put on your bloody pants!"

"Sure, but can we get breakfast first?"

"As long as it's pancakes. Hey, did you know that pancakes smell different if you fill a pool with them?"

"No, what's it smell like?"

"It smells like victory!"

"That's probably hilarious, but I didn't read that comic yet," Kidpool said, fighting to get his pants on.

"Too bad for you then," Deadpool said, lighting Spike on fire.

Deadpool then went to the fridge and pulled out a gallon of expired milk. Taking a swig, with his mask on, he was left with a clearly visible milk mustache. Then turning the jug upside down Deadpool put out the smoldering crane.

Kidpool walked in dressed in the same clothes he had on the day before, all of which was black or a deep red blood stain. When he saw the burnt paper Kidpool said sadly, "Aah, you had to put Spike down."

"He gave me a paper cut. It's healed now, but it still hurt."

"Poor Spike, he must have had rabies… Paper rabies."

"I think J. Jonah Jameson got that from working with newspapers. Good thing I have a healing factor, or I might have grown a Hitler 'stache."

"Since you brought up healing factor, we never told the reader what my powers are," Kidpool said as both him and Deadpool walked into the living room.

"**The reader can figure it out,**" the left hemisphere said.

"_Yeah, we cut off his head for crying out loud,_" the right hemisphere said.

"Hmm, just incase the reader doesn't know. So, Kidpool, you have a healing factor, right?"

"Yep, but I have other powers too. The voices in my head can do stuff."

"What? That's awesome! My voices just make witty remarks. What kind of powers do your voices have?"

"My right hemisphere, that I call Creativity, can telepathically detect threats of biological entities."

"Huh?"

"I have spidey-sense, but it only works against people because Creativity sucks at it."

"You have spidey-sense? What's your other voice do? Teleportation? I hope it's teleportation."

"Uh… No, my left hemisphere can, or Reason, can instantly calculate angles, trajectory, and velocity with a ninety-nine-point-nine percent accuracy rate."

Deadpool cocked his head in a confused manor.

"Like Bull's-eye, but not quite as good."

"Now you're just a cheat character."

"I would be, but Reason panics under pressure."

"Wait, you're not going to question my 'cheat character' comment?"

"No way! I'm hoping I'll be in the Marvel vs. Capcom expansion pack. That and I want to complete my Deadpool and Sentinel team."

"How dare you use Sentinel!"

"He's so easy to get around if you know how."

"Bullshit! Prove it!"

After twenty rounds of Marvel vs. Capcom, with Deadpool trying to use every "cheat" combo he could think of, they found that Kidpool his good at air combos. Kidpool picked random every time, and just focused on air combos, annoying Deadpool. They had finally decided to leave when Deadpool blew up the system.

"Air combos are cheating!" Deadpool whined at the top of his lungs.

"Oh come on! I even used random!" Kidpool yelled, but he only yelled because the Dead-mobile made a lot of noise. The Dead-mobile was actually just an upgraded moped. Painted like Deadpool, it was red and black with Deadpool logo on the front. Being on it for about five minutes Kidpool came to the conclusion that about half the red was actually rusted metal.

"Deadpool, your moped sucks!"

"No, it doesn't it! And don't change the subject! You're still a cheater!"

"**Get over it!**"

"Get over it!"

"Great, the voices are back, and my only son agrees with them!"

"**You may not know it, but this is great father/son bonding.**"

"_And he's not trying to cut off our head._"

"Shut up, we're here!"

"You shut up! You're the one who won't stop complaining about a game!"

Deadpool turned off the Dead-mobile, and kicked down the stand. They both jumped off, and Deadpool said, "I wasn't talking to you."

"Whatever. Your friends better have maple syrup," Kidpool said, opening a compartment under the seat. In the small space there was a sealed block of semtex, two blasting caps with a detonator, and a Styrofoam box from a local diner. Lifting the box out Kidpool found that along with maple syrup they had forgotten forks and knives.

"Of course they have maple syrup! Would a former Canadian citizen be associated with people who don't have syrup?"

"Probably, if there was beer and hockey involved."

"You got me there," Deadpool said while laughing, "But Weas and Bob are too cheap for good beer."

"'…Weas and Bob…'" Those idiots from your comic?"

"Yep, Weasel the Penatraitor and Bob the Hydra agent."

"How are they gonna help get me pants without blood stains?"

"Weasel has gotten into the super villain supply business."

"Do I get super pants?"

"Hmm… I'll look into getting super pants, but, no, we're just getting regular pants."

"No super pants, huh? Too bad, I wanted stain proof pants. Hang on!"

Deadpool stopped his foot right before kicking the door in. Looking at his son Deadpool gave a quizzical look.

"Before you kick that door open I have to say this; I will not take fashion advice from a Hydra agent."

"What? That's ridiculous! Of course we won't ask Bob for fashion advice!" Deadpool said defensively. After opening the door, without kicking it, Deadpool let Kidpool in. Once Kidpool was in Deadpool pulled out a yellow legal pad, and scratched out a note that read, "Ask Bob for fashion advice."

When Deadpool caught up he found Weasel pointing Klaw's weapon hand at Kidpool. Kidpool had left his handguns at Deadpool's apartment, so he was holding a pancake like a shuirken.

Deadpool had his hands in front of him palms outward. Getting in front of Weasel, Deadpool said, "Whoa there, Weas. Do you really want 'Killed by pancakes' in your obituary?"

"Wade! What are you doing here? Who is this kid? And why did he get so angry over syrup?" Weasel said as fast as possible.

"I need a new costume for my son. This is my son, Kidpool. And his pancakes are dry," Deadpool said matching Weasel's fast paced questions. Then Bob came back into the room with syrup as a bargaining chip for his life.

"_I was sort of wondering where Bob was?_"

"**I assumed he was hiding.**"

"Both of you shut up! We can distract Kidpool with syrup now."

"Syrup? Where?" Kidpool said excitedly. Bob panicked and tried to hide. Unfortunately Kidpool saw him, and more importantly saw the syrup.

Flinging a pancake into Weasel's face Kidpool ran around Deadpool. Using Klaw's prosthetic hand, still attached to Weasel, Kidpool blew up the syrup container. Pancakes then started flying, and each pancake went through the midair syrup. After the pancakes stopped flying they were all in Kidpool's Styrofoam box, and there was no syrup anywhere besides on the pancakes.

Weasel and Bob's jaws dropped, and Deadpool said, "I tried to warn you."

"Who wants breakfast?" Kidpool said happily.

Deadpool, Weasel, and Bob raised their hands.

"Cool, can someone get forks, knives, and plates?"

Bob, who had dived to the ground earlier, got up, and said, "I'm on it."

When Bob returned they all sat down to eat pancakes. Deadpool lifted his mask, shoved pancakes down his throat, and then grabbed a piece of paper from Kidpool's back pocket. Taking a glance at the paper in his hand Deadpool stood up, left the table, and went into a workshop through a short hallway.

Deadpool returned to find that Weasel and Bob had lost everything, but their underwear, playing poker with Kidpool. Restraining laughter and making a comment Deadpool grabbed Kidpool, and dragged him into the workshop. Immediately coming back he started laughing at Weasel and Bob, who were scrabbling for they're clothes. They ended up in each other's clothes by accident.

Kidpool returned, but in his new costume. The new costume had thick red lines coming down from the eyeholes in a mostly pure black mask. These red lines ran together under the chin, and formed a cross on the chest. The cross went off into three directions, two of which went to the shoulders. From the shoulders to the elbows it was completely red, and from the elbows down it was black. The third line of the cross went down, and joined with a red belt. A Deadpool logo was used as a belt buckle. On the legs there were two red lines on the outside of the thighs coming from the belt. These red lines joined with red boots with three black buckles and painted black steel toes.

"You never told me you could sew," Weasel said.

"You should have read the first paragraph," Kidpool quipped, ignoring the fourth wall.

"I knew he could sew, I mean look at how many times he's re-sewn his limbs on," Bob said.

"Shut up, Bob," Weasel snapped.

"Quit it, it's our job to do stupid dialogue," Deadpool said, and pointed at himself and Kidpool.

"Speaking of stupid, if someone doesn't say how stupidly awesome my new costume is then everyone getting a bullet in the head, regardless of having a healing factor or not."

Bob immediately started to stutter, "I… I love it… It's so creepy… And cool, really cool! It's… It's… It's stupidly awesome cool!"

"Thank you, Bob the Butt-kisser. And doctors can probably fix that stutter."

"Okay, okay, enough mocking, and scaring, Bob. Kidpool, you need official looking I.D. and, Weas, you're going to make it."

"Fine, just need to know his actual name, age, birth date, height, weight, eye color, hair color, sex, address, and I also need a photo."

"No actual name, twelve, July 12, four foot eleven, about one-hundred-and-fifteen pounds, red and black eyes, brown hair, male obviously, whatever Deadpool's address is, and no photos."

You need a name, and photo is necessary for any half decent fake I.D."

"Oh, oh," Deadpool exclaimed, raising his hand, "His name is Tito Arthur Wilson."

"Okay, Tito… Arthur… Wilson got it! Still need a photo," Weasel said, and wrote everything else down.

"You heard him, Tito!" Deadpool said, tackling his newly named son. Deadpool then reached for Kidpool's mask.

"Creativity, warn me before he does it next time! Yo, writer, end the chapter! End the chapter no-!"

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Afterword:

Ooooh, why doesn't Kidpool want to reveal his face? Why Tito Arthur Wilson? Why am I so insane? You'll either have to message me or wait till next week Friday. Also checkout my profile, I actually check the traffic on it, so I'll know if you don't look at it. More importantly though, comment like crazy.


	3. Chapter 3

Foreword:

Hope you enjoy the new chapter. But take note that while I will still try to upload once a week it may not happen. In the other fanfic that I'm writing it has the same [error type 2] message for a week. So the site hates me, and I don' want to break commitments. Just check over the weekend, and it should be there. If it's not there I have an excuse.

IMPORTANT! There is a notice at the bottom that you should read. After you read the entire fanfic, anyway.

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Disclaimer:

I do not own Deadpool, or anything else that is copyrighted in this fanfic.

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It was a long, hard struggle to get a picture of Kidpool's face. Deadpool managed to get his son's mask fairly easily and quickly. What he couldn't do was make his son sit still for a photo.

Luckily Weasel had a high-powered tranquilizer gun. The tranquilizer was specifically designed to work on anyone with a healing factor. It did this by using the healing factor against the target. For the healing factor to be used this way the brain had to be tricked into thinking the entire body was damaged and as it tries to fix the nonexistent damage it goes into overload. When it reaches its max ability to search the body it goes into a coma like state. This coma like state only lasts a half an hour, just long enough to take a picture and make a fake I.D.

Coming out the coma state Kidpool found a very real looking passport on his face. He removed it and saw that Deadpool had used scotch tape to keep his eyelids open. Like always Kidpool's eyes were just two large pupils set in eyes that should have been white but were red instead. The eyes were actually the only part of Kidpool's face that he liked.

He hated how childish his face looked. It made him look like a tall seven year old, when he was actually an average twelve year old. Most people couldn't get past the scars to notice how young he looked. Kidpool stopped noticing all the random surgical scars on his face, but his gaze always drifted to two egg like disks above his eyes.

Kidpool instinctively brought his hand up to his forehead. Rubbing one of the disks he felt how smooth the ceramic surface was. Then Deadpool, seeing his opportunity, said, "What are those things?"

"What are what things?" Kidpool said snapping his hand down to his side.

"Those things on your forehead," Weasel interjected.

"I don't see anything on my forehead."

"Try looking up," Bob said seriously.

Everyone looked at Bob."

"… Enough staring at Bob. Honestly, what are they?"

"Ugh, they're artificial seventh and eighth fiber optic sensory devices."

"What?" The three said together.

"I told Deadpool, but not you two, that I have other powers. These powers are not genetic, but come from these disks plugged into my brain."

"Oh," The three said together again.

"Can we transition to something else?"

"Sure, if you promise to explain what the seventh and eighth senses are later."

"No problem there."

"Oh goody! Mr. Sulu, warp speed!"

Weasel couldn't resist and said, "Warp two, sir?"

"No, that is too damn slow! Go to… Transition speed!"

Weasel tried to think of what the joke was. He failed, and said, "What are you talking abo-?"

Exactly one month later Deadpool and Kidpool walked through New York City in their street aliases, Wade and Tito Wilson. Wade was wearing blue jeans, a grey long sleeve shirt, and a brown leather jacket, he also had Giant's cap pulled low. Tito had made rounds to every teen and preteen clothing store in the area. What he bought, and was wearing, was a pair of black cargo pants, a black shirt with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on it, and a much too large red hoodie with the hood up.

Wade grabbed Tito by his hood, and pulled him down t a street café table. He then said to his son, "It's later. Time to explain."

"What? We just transitioned."

"But the writer said it was a month."

"I know I have to follow the story, Reason. And, Creativity, I don't like coffee… Not even with lots of cream and sugar… Gah! Deadpool, I'll tell you just to shut these two up!"

A waitress then came over to their table, and said, "How-ly crap! Um, uh, sorry…. How may I… Help you?"

"I'll have a large cocoa vanilla swirl cappuccino, no foam, cream, no sugar, a shot of black coffee, and sprig, just a sprig, of mint," Wade said, perfectly rehearsed.

"Do you have hot chocolate?"

"Uh, yeah."

"I'd like a medium hot chocolate… Please."

She read back their order, and went to a backroom. Everyone at the café heard the sound of the waitress throwing up.

"Ha, you're ugly!" Wade jeered.

"Seriously? You look like you lost a fight with a waffle iron."

"Like I haven't heard that one before. No, really, I haven't heard that one before. But enough stalling. Explain."

"Fine. First, you have your five senses. Next you have your sixth sense, or ESP. Here's the important part; the seventh sense is to comprehend the concepts of the universe around you, like Bullseye's ability to aim. The eighth sense is similar to a spidey-sense, you know, when you get that feeling that someone is looking at the back of your head. That's best I can explain it, but I'm sure there's more senses that I don't know about."

The waitress wanted the pair out of the café. So she made a twenty minute order into a two minute order. After the order was made the waitress interrupted an in-depth conversation on the senses, perception, and Golden Girls.

Both Wade and Tito sipped their drinks quietly. It was one of the few times the two didn't speak. Neither could handle saying nothing. So Wade was going to speak, but Tito beat him to it, and said, "Hey, Deadpool."

"Yeah?"

"Am I a good, or bad, person?"

"Hmm… I could give you a sage answer, or I could give you an honest answer," Wade said with a shrug.

"How about one then the other?"

"Sure. Sage answer; life is not good and bad, black and white, but a grey area. Honest answer; you struggle to be bad."

"That was deep. I was expecting Family Matters or Leave it to Beaver. But how do I '… struggle to be bad?'"

"Let's see… You slapped the butt of Ben Grimm's girlfriend, and then he punched you through a building. Got into a fist fight with Spiderman, lost, and he webbed you to a lamppost. You were arrested by NYPD, and barely escaped. Also, you fought Daredevil and Moonknight at the same time."

"Yeah, I don't get the 'struggle' part."

"It was all in one day, and you didn't mean to slap The Thing's girlfriend's butt, which started everything else. And you felt so sick after, even though all your wounds were healed. Frankly, in this past month after every bad thing that we did you threw up after."

Tito stared into his hot chocolate. After some thought, and inner discussion, he said, "I… I have these… Impulses to be bad, but I just feel so guilty afterward. It's like… I want to get punished for being bad, and when it doesn't work out I feel so… Pukey."

"… I know how you feel," Wade said, and put his hand on his son's shoulder.

"You do? How do I deal with it?"

"When I figure it out, I'll tell you."

"Thanks, Dea… Dad."

"You called me Da-!"

"Crap, Creativity!" Tito yelled, and tackled his father over the table, "Reason, shut up!"

A laser came from a nearby building. The laser struck the table. After it was hit the table exploded. Everyone at the café was hit with splinters, and then ran away.

Wade was on his back, and said, "What the hell was that?"

"Him!" Tito exclaimed.

"Who…? Cable! What are you doing? We're supposed to be friends!"

"We are friends," The mutant cyborg from the future said, "But that child must die to save the future."

"What are you talking about?"

Cable brought himself down from the roof using his telekinetic powers. When his feet touched ground, he said, "That boy will become one of the most dangerous mutants ever."

"That's crazy than me! He's not even a mutant, just a modified human!"

"For now maybe, but it doesn't matter because he has to die before his mutants abilities come in."

"Heh, you're right. I am going to die. Without my monthly cancer treatment my healing factor will kill me. Hell, I'm surprised I've made it this long," Tito said, and then started to cough up blood, "Irony's a bitch."

* * *

Afterword:

Oh the suspense! Oh the drama! What will happen? Find out next time.

IMPORTANT! Kidpool/Tito is a mutant and his ability is undisclosed. I want you, the reader, to help come up with a power. Post a comment, or send me a message! Hurry his power will be announced in couple of chapters! Not next chapter so you have time, but some readers have already gotten their suggestions in, so if you want it to be the one I pick you better make a fast and awesome.


	4. Chapter 4

Foreword:

Sorry that's it a little late. I had mid-terms.

I've heard some great suggestions, and I'm still taking them for Kidpool's power. Also, I forgot to mention this last time. I want to give credit were credit is due, so if you want your pen name to be mentioned when I reveal his power please notify me. I will not put your name out there without permission so make sure I have the okay.

* * *

Disclaimer:

I do not own Deadpool, if I did there would be no way that the main actor in the movie would be allowed to stop and come back later. Especially for a DC, which I don't own.

* * *

It was not easy for Deadpool to convince Cable to let Kidpool go to the hospital. Unfortunately for the surrounding area Deadpool's idea of convincing involved all of the guns and high grade explosives that he kept in the Dead-mobile.

After Deadpool left the newly formed urban warzone he had to ask for directions to the hospital. He hasn't needed a doctor in what felt like an eternity to him, so every couple of blocks he would try to ask someone. Asking for directions was of the toughest things Deadpool has to do, because nearly everyone he asked ran away screaming. This continued for over twenty blocks, but then he finally got lucky.

An old black man had just gone out for a walk and he didn't mind showing Deadpool the way. The old man introduced himself as Curtis, and Deadpool returned the gesture by introducing himself as Wade. Curtis and Wade, with Tito on Wade's back, followed Curtis's Seeing Eye dog, Russell.

Curtis and Russell were one of those owner and animal pairs that looked alike. Russell was a black lab, and he had a little white on the back of his neck that matched what little hair Curtis had left. They both had a droop to their old bodies. Curtis's blind eyes had a kindly shine and Russell had the exact same shine. It also seemed that everyone knew the old pair, like they had become part of the scenery.

When the four arrived at the hospital a large Mexican nurse said, "Mistah Curtis, you out of your medication already?"

"No. no, Belle, and please call me Uncle Curtis."

"'Course, mist… Uncle Curtis."

Deadpool couldn't wait anymore, and said, "Not that I haven't always wanted to meet a southern Mexican woman, but my son is unconscious and drooling on my back. Drool mixed with blood at that."

"What's that, sugah…? Oh mah great Lord in heaven!" She said, and hit an intercom button, "ER personnel to the lobby!"

Two men, who looked like they could have been Italian mob enforcers, rushed into the lobby. One took Kidpool from Deadpool and put the mini-mercenary on a nearby gurney. The second nurse went into the crook of Deadpool's shoulder to hold him up, unnecessarily. At that point the first nurse had already taken Kidpool away, and the second said, "Don't worry, sir. You and your son will get patched up right away."

Gently placing Deadpool in a wheelchair the male nurse wheeled to an emergency examination room. When Deadpool realized that he wasn't going to where his son was he started to put up a fight. The nurse had luckily chosen a wheelchair with restraints, that he quickly used. Deadpool normally could have escaped easily, but was too panicked to do so. Instead Deadpool screamed so that he echoed through the halls, "Take me to my son!"

"I will. Right after you get checked out."

"I'm fine! Just take me to my son, you Italian bastard! Or I'll turn you into a Scarface impressionist!"

"Sir, please calm down," The male nurse said. It soon turned from a request to an inevitably, because then he started pumping Deadpool full of sedatives. At first it didn't work; Deadpool was still thrashing about. Seeing that it was failing the nurse then used enough sedatives to overdose ten people.

Ten minutes later Deadpool awoke from his drug induced stupor. He was naked and strapped to an operating table. A woman walked over in a surgical smock. Deadpool said to her, "Am I still dreaming?"

"What…? How… How are you awake?" She said startled, but quickly regaining her composure.

"Damn, I'm awake. Too bad. I like where this dream goes."

"Sir, if you don't explain yourself then I'll be forced to sedate you again."

"Still liking it. But if you have to know I'll tell you…. I have a healing factor."

"Like the short, angry one on the X-men, Avengers, and New Avengers."

"Yeah, like him, but better!"

"…Okay."

"Can you take me to my son now? And, you know, get me off the table?"

"I still have to examine you?"

"It was not a request, for I am Doom!" Deadpool said in his best Doom impression. He had already freed himself, and now he was looking for a pair of pants.

"How did you get off the table? And you are not actually Doctor Doom, are you?"

"I have my ways, and no. Now take me to Tito."

"Who is Tito?"

"My son. And considering that he's probably in a lot of pain, and that I've killed a man for a Klondike bar before, I suggest you hurry."

"No matter how much you may threaten me I have to fulfill my Hippocratic Oath, and see that no harm comes to you by me releasing you prematurely. So please let me exam you, and then I will take you to your son."

"Ugh, fine, but please hurry."

After the examination Deadpool was lead to the intensive care area. During his own examination he had found out the doctor's name was Pamela Isley. She personally took Deadpool to Kidpool, so Deadpool thanked her, "Thank you so much, Poison Ivy!"

"Why do you call me that?"

"Shh! Look, he's like a dreaming puppy," Deadpool said. This was a fair assessment, because Kidpool had a tendency to curl up like an animal when sleeping. Under his chin Kidpool had balled his two fists together, and occasionally one of his legs would twitch.

A surgeon came into the room, and interrupted Deadpool's fatherly fawning, "Excuse me, can I assume you're the dad?"

"Can I assume you're Catwoman?"

"Um, let me introduce myself. My name is Nora Fries."

"Got it, Mrs. Freeze."

"How'd you know I was married, I'm wearing gloves?"

"Later. Two things though," He said putting up two fingers, "First, are you two related?"

"Yes, we are identical twins," Dr. Isley said.

"Except I'm the pretty one," Dr. Fries said.

The twin doctors were both tall and slender with just a hint of curve. Neither woman was very busty, but they didn't have flat chests either. They looked young, but were obviously in their early thirties. The only noticeable difference between the two was that Dr. Isley's hair was long and a natural auburn red, while Dr. Fries's hair was short and dyed blonde.

"Good to know. Secondly, can you help my son?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. We don't know how to help him. It appears that he has some kind of reverse cancer. As far as I can tell this reverse cancer is developing into a large tumor. Do you know why this would happen? Family history? Radiation?"

"Well…" Deadpool said, and continued to explain. He told the doctors about his condition and his healing factor. How that it was specially calibrated to counteract his cancer. Taking a guess he told them his son has the same healing factor, but not the cancer. Deadpool closed the explanation by saying, "I don't what exactly is wrong with him, but he sounded like he has the details."

The doctors had a lot to think about. So the three of them just sat there and waited for Kidpool to wake up. It wasn't a long wait.

As he woke up, Kidpool said, "Oh, Daddy D, I had the strangest dream. You were there, and you, but not your twin sister, and Cable was the tin man."

"Tito! You're awake! Thanks be to Stan Lee!"

"Tito, is it? I have to ask you something," Dr. Fries said.

"That's cool, but you're going to have to make it fast. My sides are burning, and I'm probably going to pass out from the pain."

"I'll make it fast. You're dad informed us of your… Condition. What I want to know is if it's true how have you made it this long?"

"Simple; the people who gave me my healing factor were worried about me getting out of control. Their way to fix the problem was to give me a modified healing factor for a cancer I don't have. Then they gave me the cancer, but my healing factor removes in about a month. So when the cancer was gone they would give to me again."

"Why did it heal the cancer completely when your father's does not?" Dr. Isley asked.

"Because it came after the healing factor."

"Hmm."

"This is a tough case. I have to go think," Dr. Fries said, and left the room. Dr. Isley nodded and followed her sister.

"Dad, we have hot twin doctors!"

"I know…! Ah crap. I just got reminded that you're dying!"

"Eh, you should hear my voices. They're going crazy…Er."

"This isn't funny! We have to do something!"

"You could ask Cable. Ignoring that he wants to kill me he'd be perfect for this. With all that future technology something should be able to help."

"That would be perfect. I'll go ask him."

"Sarcasm, nice."

"Of course it's sarcasm! How do you expect me to find him? And it took me nearly half my arsenal just to convince him to let me take you here."

"I don't know where he is exactly, but I do know he's pointing a gun at me right now."

"What?" Deadpool said, and rushed over to a window. Throwing it open, he yelled, "Cable, get over here!"

There was a small rumble and crack as the ceiling broke. Cable dropped down from the newly formed hole. As Cable straightened Deadpool asked him, "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure that he dies."

"Ah, you care, you really care," Kidpool said sarcastically.

"Cable, I know you want my son dead, but he's still a child. He deserves a chance, and you can give him that chance."

"I'm not going to give him the chance to slaughter millions… No, billions of people!"

"How would I do that?"

Cable stared at him with his natural eye full of hate, and said, "When you became Apocalypse's Horsemen of War he had you, and your modified mutant army, march across the Earth killing anything that screamed."

"_**What the hell?"**_ Deadpool, Kidpool, and all four of their voices said together.

* * *

Afterword:

Batman references throughout, one of the few DC characters I like. I don't know if you noticed, but I've been trying to use their voices less, what do you think? And once again still time to suggest powers.

SPOILER ALERT! I'm calling Kidpool in the future, as the Horsemen of War, Child Warfare. If you have a better name please send it to me. No guarantees, but I might change it to your suggestion.


	5. Chapter 5

Foreword:

Sorry, that I didn't get it up sooner, but life has been getting to me. I don't have deadlines for this anymore, but I like to update it every week. I didn't hear any name suggestions for Kidpool's Horseman form name, so I went with Child Warfare. A little spoiler I'm going to start revealing all the horsemen of the apocalypse. One week until I reveal Kidpool's mutant power, so last minute requests are welcome.

* * *

Disclaimer:

I do not own Deadpool. I don't own much of anything, especially comicbook franchises.

* * *

Cable's announcement, that Kidpool would grow up to be the worst mass murderer ever, shook both Deadpool Kidpool. Deadpool had killed lots of people, most of whom deserved it, but he'd never dreamed of wiping out entire populaces. Kidpool was even more stunned, because as part of his training he had only killed terrorists who were trying to kill him.

Hydra and A.I.M agents didn't rate very high on Kidpool's list of regrets. Buying lobster from a sidewalk stand in Hell's Kitchen was higher on his list of regrets than Hydra and A.I.M agents. What rated even higher was killing billions of people, and that hadn't even happened yet. The idea was so guilt ridden that it made him sick to his stomach.

Kidpool couldn't even hold the thoughts back anymore, and threw up all over his sheets. He wiped his mouth with his already ruined sheets, and then said, "My vomit isn't normally red. So that's either blood or the lobster tacos from yesterday. I really hope it's the tacos."

"Smells like blood…And you know, vomit," Deadpool said.

"So did the tacos."

"Well, I'm getting Dr. Fries anyway. Come along, Mr. Make-A-Bad-Situation-Worse."

Cable had learned not to question Deadpool in a situation like this. He followed silently, and he saw signal for a nurse. Deadpool kept on walking after he told a nurse what was going on, and Cable continued to follow.

They went to a back alley, and Cable was thought enough of it to ask, "What's this about, Deadpool?"

"I want you to take me to the future."

"Why?"

"I have never doubted you before, but this is my son we're talking about. For me to believe that he can do what you said he did, I'll have to see it for myself."

"…I understand. We always think the best of our children…. Time slide by two."

The two men collapsed together in a bright flash of white light. As the light faded a single point of rainbow colored light was left, no bigger than a pen tip. Then it was gone.

Fifty years later the same process happened again, but in reverse. A rainbow dot, a flash, and Deadpool and Cable were left standing there. Time travel was more disorienting than teleportation, so Deadpool had to balance himself.

Rubble covered the ground were Deadpool had landed making it difficult for him to stand. With a rock right under Deadpool's foot he had to step back into the relatively clear street to keep from falling down. He then looked up at the hospital.

Shock was an unfamiliar sensation to Deadpool, but that was exactly what he felt. Anyone could understand why he was shocked, because a nearly unscathed hospital in the middle of a wasteland was truly shock inducing. Everything else had been meticulously leveled, biblically even, not one brick lade atop another. The hospital on the other hand had only one flaw, vandalism. Written across in big, red letters were the words, "I'll kill you all! Love, Child Warfare."

"Who's Child Warfare?" Deadpool said.

"**Sure, pretend that we can't break the fourth**," Deadpool's left hemisphere said.

"_Shh, the writer's trying not to use us as much,_" His right hemisphere said.

"You know who he is," Cable said.

"I was hoping it was different child with combat training."

"It's him. That son of yours who you were convinced couldn't do all this," Cable said, motioning to the barren wasteland that had been downtown New York.

A noise came from the hospital that Deadpool and Cable had turned their backs on. Their guns went up behind them before they even turned around. What they found was that someone was removing a blockade from behind the hospital doors. One of the double doors barely opened, and an old woman called out, "Both of you get over here!"

"We should go over there. If someone is willing to draw attention to themselves it's worth it to trust them."

"No need to convince me. I've never been afraid of old ladies…. Except one, but I don't like to talk about her."

Deadpool Cable went into the hospital that they had left five minutes and fifty years ago. A couple of desks had been pushed in front of the doors, but everything else was essentially the same. One thing that had changed was the doctors.

"Mrs. Freeze? Poison Ivy?" Deadpool exclaimed, "Daaaamn, you are old! If I hadn't seen it coming I would have never guessed it was you two."

"Mr. Wilson? You look so young!" Dr. Fries exclaimed in return. Her surprise didn't stop her from putting the blockade back in place though.

"Is it because of that…Healing factor you told me about all those years ago?" Dr. Isley said, remaining calm.

The twin doctors had aged fairly well. Nearly fifty years of trying to stay alive had kept them looking not a day over sixty. What was more impressive than their young looks was that they remembered everything from so long ago.

"You remember all that? That was a long time ago for you. And it was, like, an hour for me, but I barely remember it. You're like an elephant. But I'm not saying you're fat. Maybe about Oprah size, though she's not as talented as Bea Arthur. Hey, have you ever wanted honey from Bea Arthur? Not like she's a bee and actually made it, but like she was feeding you…. What was I talking about again?"

"We don't know," Everyone, but Deadpool, said.

"Whatever. So now that I'm here how do I find Child Warfare?"

"Do you want to die?" Dr. Fries nearly screamed.

"Nope. Just gotta talk to him."

"Don't worry, Deadpool. He'll find us soon enough," Cable said. He was right, because when the devil's spoken of something is bound to happen.

Then without warning Deadpool started shooting into a dark corner. After he stopped there was the smell of gunpowder and sulfur in the air. Nothing was there, except flattened hollow points.

No one could hear anything, but then from behind them a voice said, "Guten tag, mein victims."

All four of them turned around, and saw a shadowy figure. The shadow crawled into the dim light. What they say was a black, skintight suit, with a blue anarchy "A" on the back, on fit, lithe man. He stood up, and the "A" on his back actually moved itself to the front. His face was none existent; the only features were two long horns that curved out of his forehead. Then he smiled and his face split open revealing shark like teeth.

"Vat's der matter, Cable? Not even a smile for your old freund, Gravecrawler? Und vho iz dis? You said it vas…Deadpool?"

"You have me at a disadvantage, friend," Deadpool said in his best cowboy accent.

"Ah, it iz you. Vell, you knew me as Nightcrawler. But you may call me Gravecrawler now."

"Okay. But I have to ask. Why the hell do you look like Venom?"

"Oh dis old ting. A gift from mein fuehrer, Apocalypse."

"Glad you've been introduced to the Horseman of Death. But can we dispense with the pleasantries."

"Sure, Cable, I have to get my costume on anyway. So let's just end the chapter. That's right! Screw you, reader!"

* * *

Afterword:

He's joking! He doesn't want to screw you over! I might do it on accident, or out of necessity.

Oh yeah, if you were wondering Deadpool has been in his civilian clothes this whole time.

Finally, if you can't wait to find out who's going to be part of my horseman of the apocalypse send me a private message, so I don't ruin it for everybody else.


	6. Chapter 6

Foreword:

Guess who's back! I hope someone's still willing to read this after months of neglect. Well... Enjoy!

* * *

Disclaimer:

I do not own Deadpool, or any other trademarked phrases, characters, or other pop culture related products.

* * *

Deadpool was in his costume and fighting Gravecrawler. Cable was evacuating Dr. Fries and Dr. Isley to a safer place. While Deadpool and Gravecrawler fought Deadpool said, "Damn it, Cable, hurry up!"

"He vill not be ov any use," Gravecrawler said.

"Please stop talking. It ruins the whole fight scene. Oh, look! It's Cable!"

"Vot?"

Deadpool used the butt of his pistol to try and knockout Gravecrawler. He was making contact with Gravecrawler's skull and then Gravecrawler disappeared. A little ways away Gravecrawler reappeared still recoiling from the strike to the back of his skull. After letting out a couple of shots at Gravecrawler Deadpool said, "Told you shouldn't try and talk. Especially since I can't understand you."

"Do vu-"

"No stop it!" Deadpool kept on shooting, "I'm sick of people asking me if I ever shut up… Voices in my head, do you ever shut up? No one I do not understand irony."

"Um, can ve fight som-" Gravecrawler was cut off by Deadpool with a shotgun to his face.

"I'm having conversation over here, douche-crawler," Deadpool said and was swinging his shotgun around.

Cable returned, and he said, "Deadpool, where'd you get the shotgun?"

"Why do you question it? The reader doesn't question it. Why can't you be more like the reader?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Where's Gravecrawler?"

"Who now?"

"Gravecrawler, the guy you were shooting."

"Oh, him. Yeah, he teleported away. But I shot him in the face. It was rather anticlimactic. Almost like the writer's trying to set us up for something."

In a puff of smoke Gravecrawler was back, and he wasn't alone. He was standing on the back of a giant, spider-like creature. Cable looked at them, and said, "Spider-Swarm, this isn't getting any better."

"Spider… Swarm? Holy Shiiit! Is that Spidey? The 'with great power comes great responsibility' boy scout? He really let himself go."

"That's him alright, but he didn't let himself go. Apocalypse altered his DNA turning him into that thing."

"Really? I thought he would've added more to Spidey than just turning him into a monster. It's sort of a letdown."

"Are vou two going to keep talking or can ve kill you now?"

"Deadpool, get ready to move."

Deadpool was about to make a witty remark, but was stopped when Spider-Swarm tackled him. The force sent both of them through the blockade. They were twisting on the ground in a flurry of limbs, mostly Spider-Swarm's limbs. Deadpool still had the shotgun and was trying to maneuver so he could shoot Spider-Swarm. Then there was a loud bang, and Deadpool had shot himself in the neck.

Spider-Swarm looked over the body, and decided that Deadpool was really dead. Several of his limbs were broken in the struggle, so he had to skitter back towards the hospital. One of Spider-Swarm's double jointed knees gave out, and he fell to the ground. As he was getting back up a shiver ran throughout his exoskeleton. He tried to skitter around, but he was cutoff when two consecutive shotgun blasts tore into his skull.

Deadpool was up again, and was spitting up blood as he tried to speak. Once his throat had finished healing Deadpool said, "Suck that, web-head, or should I say pellet-head, cause I shot you with a shotgun in the head, and shotguns shoot pellets. Hey, can you hear me…? Oh, yeah, the whole having your brain blown out. Ah, Spiderman, I didn't know ye well, oh, how I will not miss your witty banter."

As he waited for applauds Deadpool held a Shakespearian pose. He would have stayed like that for hours, but was forced to move when webbing shot out from the hospital. Another Spider-Swarm came from the hospital, and he kept shooting out webbing. Deadpool grabbed some of the webbing, stuck a grenade to it, and threw it back so that it stuck to Spider-Swarm.

Once the grenade had taken care of Spider-Swarm, Deadpool said, "I think I killed Spiderwoman! Even as a monster that's still a great lost. I loved that little red and gold spandex costume that clung to her-"

Another Spider-Swarm came from behind Deadpool. After a couple of shots Deadpool managed to kill that one as well. Then he looked at one of the web shots from before, it was starting to move. In a split second the webbing exploded and a full grown Spider-Swarm appeared.

The newest Spider-Swarm spit out three more web packets. Deadpool managed to dodge two of them, but was still hit. After that Deadpool used the shotgun like a bat and beat in the skull of Spider-Swarm. Before he could take care of the other packets they burst open, including the one on Deadpool.

The two Spider-Swarms on the ground were spitting out more web packets. The Spider-Swarm on Deadpool was biting and scratching as Deadpool tried to get it off. Deadpool managed to kill that one, but then he found himself surrounded by twenty more Spider-Swarms. He said, "Aw, come on! This stopped being fun like two Spider-Swarms ago."

Then without warning all the Spider-Swarms scattered. Deadpool scratched his head with a bolo knife. He was all alone in the middle of the wasteland. Cable soon came out of the hospital to join him, and Cable said, "What happened?"

"Dunno, spider-freaks just ran away for no reason."

"Gravecrawler did too, but there was definitely a reason."

Off in the distance a lone figure was flying towards Cable and Deadpool. Immediately as Deadpool saw it he said, "It's a bird, it's a plane, its'…. Cliffhangers are a bitch, huh?"

* * *

Afterword:

Sorry, I've been away so long. I'll try and update more frequently. Please keep reading, commenting, and you can also try to look me up on facebook by typing in Anti-Trend Publishing. Also, should I bring back the voices in Deadpool's head?


	7. Chapter 7

**Review! Review dammit! Let's try and hit twenty before I finish! Okay, now that I got that out of the way.**

Foreword:

I hope you liked last chapter, and that you like this chapter. I have no idea when I post again, probably soon. That's all I've got to say.

* * *

Disclaimer:

You know at this point I just write this to rant about if I did own Deadpool, which I don't, like how there should be a Deadpool in every mall around Halloween. It would be awesome! Screw the great pumpkin. Give me Deadpool handing out grenades over whatever the Great Pumpkin does any given Halloween.

* * *

The flying figure was drawing closer, and Deadpool didn't recognize who it was and he said, "Seriously? I can break the fourth wall, but I can't tell who the flying person is? That's even stupider than usual."

"**You have to let the author do something."**

"_Yeah, it's not like he's been working that hard since we haven't even been around for a while. We're not even directly used in his other Deadpool fanfic."_

"Shut up, you two. Since I have no idea what's happening let's turn to Cable for the answer. So, Cable, who's are quest?"

"Rogue Famine, another Horseman of Apocalypse."

She was a tall, curvy woman that looked like she was in her mid-forties, but her hair was grey like that of an old woman. Her eyes were sunken into her head, but still held onto a womanly charm. She had on a spandex outfit that covered everything except for her head and hands. The outfit was made out the costume of other super heroes, like Captain America, Spiderwoman, the Fantastic Four, and especially the X-Men. When she spoke her voice was gravel, and she said, "Hello, Cable, now who's dis you got wich you?"

"_Wait a minute. I know that southern accent…"_

"**It's Rogue from the X-Men. I think everyone figured that out by now."**

"Wow, the years have been good to you. I know you got that whole can't-touch-people-because-you'll-suck-out-their-life-energy thing, but if you're not doing anything later…"

"Ah know dat voice, and Ah thought you were some imposter in a costume."

"Nope, it's me, the original merc with a mouth. And speaking of costumes, I really like that superhero collage thing you got on. Of course, it would look better on the ground," Deadpool said, and he gave two thumbs up.

"_**Please don't do that again,"**_ Deadpool's voices said together.

"Please don't do that anymore," Cable said.

Rogue Famine shot a laser from her eyes like Cyclops's, and Cable was blasted away. Cable crashed back into the hospital, and Deadpool pulled out his katana getting ready for a fight. Before Deadpool could do anything though, Rogue ran like Quicksilver behind him. She then whispered into his covered ear, "No need to worry, sug. I'd be happy to show'ya mine, if you show me yours."

"See now, I'm very conflicted. On one hand we have me getting freaky, and on the other hand we have you getting violent."

"Nobody has to know, it could be our lil' secret."

"Hmm, still tempting, but I think I'll pass," Deadpool said, and he swung his sword behind his back. Rogue ran back to her original spot.

"Guess, it's the hard way then," She said. Bone claws then popped out of her knuckles. She then started running again. Every time she ran past Deadpool she would tear a piece out of him. After a couple of passes Deadpool was able to block or dodge the claws.

"Ah come on! I heal but the suit doesn't!" Deadpool said.

"_You couldn't have just had sex with her, could you?"_

"**Like that would have turned out much better."**

"At least my clothes wouldn't have holes!"

Rogue, unlike most people Deadpool fought, didn't take notice of Deadpool talking to himself. Instead she just kept attacking, and that caused Deadpool to lose his greatest advantage. It didn't stop Deadpool from talking though, "I changed my mind! Let's do it! Seriously, I'm up for anything!"

"Sorry, sug, not gonna happen," Rogue said, and stabbed Deadpool in the back with her bones claws.

"Not cool…"

"_Kind of kinky, though."_

"**Except for the whole internal bleeding thing."**

"Can you two please shut up? I'm trying to bleed in peace."

"**Sorry…"**

"_What he said… it was still kind of sexy."_

Rogue stabbed Deadpool with her other set of claws. Then she twisted her wrists. Deadpool's back was torn open from, he grunted lightly then said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to have an inner monologue here."

Gunshots came from the hospital hitting Rogue in the back. She quickly moved away out of gunshot range, and Cable came out. He came up to Deadpool, and Cable said, "For it to be an inner monologue then it would to be inner and not spoken."

"Oh, Cable, you and your semantics."

Rogue's own healing factor had already taken over. She looked at the two who were now quibbling over a new subject every couple of seconds. As they kept arguing she coughed, but they paid no attention, so she said, "Excuse me, are we still fighting?"

"Hmm, oh yeah, sure," Deadpool said. Then Deadpool and Cable made quick eye contact, and both of them started to shoot at Rogue, without looking. She used her speed to dodge the bullets, but the continuous fire was wearing her down. Both of the gunmen then started to work together to corner her with bullets. As it went on more and more bullets managed to hit Rogue. One shot managed to tear through her kneecap sending her tumbling to the ground.

Deadpool ran towards Rogue, and he jumped into the air. With his katana high above his head Deadpool tried to bring it down on Rogue's neck. Then he was forced back. All the little metal objects that Deadpool had on were pulling him back. Rogue had healed, stood up, and said, "And, Ah was just startin' to have fun."

"Magneto's powers? That's just not fair," Deadpool said as he was suspended in air, "And, the whole thing was you just having fun? Madam, you wound me greatly!"

"No kiddin'?" Rogue said, and Deadpool's katana jumped out his hand. The point of the sword turned around and pointed at Deadpool's heart. After a pause everything dropped; Deadpool, Deadpool's katana, and Deadpool's balls after he stopped sucking them in from fear. Rogue then turned to leave, and said, "Guess that's all for today."

Rogue flew away, and she passed at an incoming Quinjet. She gave a slight wave, the person flying the jet did nothing. The jet landed, and the landing door dropped down.

Deadpool looked at Cable, then the jet, and he said, "This is so ominous it gives me Goosebumps, and not the good kind like Bea Arthur does."

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Afterword:

Alright, two things for anyone who actually bothers to read this part.

First, I really have written another Deadpool fanfic and would love to have the opinions of the people who have read this.

Secondly, here's a list of the Horseman of Apocalypse

Nightcrawler to Gravecrawler with his original powers with extended range, and he has a symbiote.

Spiderman to Spiderswarm as Manspider instead, and he also has Jamie Madrox power just modified in that he can shoot out clone sacks in his web.

Rogue to Rogue Famine has her same powers but they were modified so that she could keep the powers forever, and the list of what powers she has is extensive.

The last will be introduced soon... who didn't know that?


	8. Chapter 8

Foreword: I have to warn you that this chapter is a little short, but I wanted to get something up the first week of January, so I figure uploading at 11:45 PM on 01/07 counts. Most of this chapter is just introducing you-know-who. Please comment.

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Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool, Cable, or any other intellectual property of Marvel or Disney.

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Noiselessly, a child's shadow appeared out of the jet's doorway. The shadow shrank silently as it had appeared. Then the noon sun eliminated the shadow as the caster stepped out from under the shade. The former caster of the shadow was a child.

He looked like he was wearing a homemade Halloween costume. Crude stitches held a blue letter "A" to a black, hunting vest. Under the vest was a grey, collared shirt with press on military rank markers on the sleeves. A leather belt with pistol holsters held up urban-camo pants three times too large for their wearer. Bits and pieces of his face could be made out, like surgical scars and two metal spheres on his forehead, behind the paintball mask strapped to his head. Then he spoke, his voice cracked here and there, "**Dad**_-dy_, it is _goo_**-d** to see you **a**-_gain_. Are you **hap**_-py_ to see me, **to-**_o_?"

"…Sure, in a 'I'm happy you couldn't get any worse' kind of way," Deadpool said when he recognized his son.

"**Dad**-_dy_, don't be _mea_-**n**. I am _won_-**der**-_fully_ **in**-_hanced_ by _**Lord Apocalypse**_," He said and drew one of the guns from his side. "See?"

There was a click from plastic hitting plastic."

"That's a toy gun, and that was very anticlimactic," Deadpool said.

"Move!" Cable yelled as he dove away.

"Why wou—" Deadpool was cut off by a laser beam originating from space.

The red stream of light instantly bore through Deadpool's forehead. Lobotomized, Deadpool slumped to the ground.

"Get up, **dad**-_dy_! I _wan_-**t** to show you more of my _**toys**_!"

"Die, Apocalypse scum!" Cable said and fired a burst of specials carbodium rounds.

"My name is _**Child Warfare**_," He said, unscathed.

Instead of taking the rounds himself, Child Warfare had one of his many nameless speedster mutants take the bullets for him. Before the mutant could fall of its own accord Child Warfare grabbed it by the neck and cast it away like a ragdoll. For a second he looked at the dead and long listless superhuman with what could be only be considered disappointed. Then he turned his attention back to Cable, like a child shocked that their overindulging parent would ever scold them.

"Who the hell is that?" Deadpool said, having gotten back up.

"Don't know, don't care, all that matters now is what it became, a lifeless puppet controlled by a sociopath of a child."

"You _bro_-**ke** one of my _**toys**_," Child Warfare said. "But don't **wor**-_ry_, I have more."

Jets from every directions started arriving with flying mutants following behind. More speedster mutants stopped all around them sending dust flying into the air. A few mutants even teleported amongst them. Hundreds of mutants now surrounded Deadpool, Cable, and Child Warfare, and in unison the mutants said, "We play now? We know lots of games, like arson, assault, and murder. Would you like to play one of those games? We know other games too. How about genocide?"

"What are these… things?" Deadpool said, readying himself.

"His toys, almost every mutant alive on Earth at the time of Apocalypse's first strike. See the silver square on their foreheads? Neural connection chips and transponders, all linked directly to Child Warfare's twisted mind."

"What, how? Did they put more wires through his brain?"

"No, it's his mutant ability. He's able to send and receive wireless signals, globally."

"He's some kind of techno-path? Is he a Wi-Fi hotspot, too?"

"No more **talk**-_ing_," Child Warfare said and fired his plastic pistol twice. Deadpool and Cable moved away just in time to avoid being shot by two more lasers.

"What about the orbital death cannon?!" Deadpool said as he rolled.

"Not only is he connected to all these mutants, but he's also connected to several high orbit satellites with space to surface laser capability."

"That's a lot of stuff to control, and almost as much exposition."

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Afterword: Told you it was short. I think I explained everything pretty well, and I'm glad I waited on this chapter, because when I first thought of Child Warfare he was much more serious and less psychotic, more "All hail Lord Apocalypse!" and less "Let's play Nazi Germany the board-game!" I like the crazy killer version over the emotional less killing machine version, what do you think?


	9. Chapter 9

Foreword:

I'm really bad at updating. So sorry. Hope you enjoy this chapter. I feel I have to warn you; I'll probably end this series pretty soon.

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Disclaimer:

I own nothing, not even the computer I wrote this on. So deal with it, can't sue me Marvel!

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Deadpool and Cable gunned down the mutants between themselves and Child Warfare. For every mutant Deadpool and Cable killed, two more blocked their path. Climbing over a mound of bodies, Cable said, "I've exhausted my ammunition."

"Me too." Deadpool pulled his gun's trigger to no avail. Deadpool took his two katana and handed one to Cable, because more mutants were stumbling up the corpses. After digging his toe under a mutant midget, Deadpool launched into a group of the climbing mutants and knocked them over, and then Deadpool said, "Strike one, and we're out of here, Cable."

The two of them leapt down the funeral hill and landed on the downed mutants, snapping a couple of the mutants' necks. Plunging their swords through exposed eye sockets, Deadpool and Cable killed two more of the mutants on the ground. Turning his attention to Child Warfare, Deadpool ran with the point of his sword out in front, but a white-haired mutant impaled himself on the katana. "Get off! I didn't mean to penetrate you!" Deadpool said. "I did not mean any of that sexually."

"**You**'re such a _sex_-**bomb**," Child Warfare said backing away. "_Who_ would-**n't** **deto-**nate _pre-_maturely?"

"Wha-?" Deadpool started, but the white-haired mutant cut him off by exploding. His ribcage blown apart and skull caved in, Deadpool needed his healing factor more than ever.

Cable was still on the move, and he used the Deadpool's blood mist to hide himself as he charged Child Warfare. Child Warfare had moved closer to Deadpool watch his sinew and muscle reattach itself, so Cable took advantage of the proximity. Tackling Child Warfare, Cable buried the tip of the katana into the twisted child's chest. In that one action, Cable managed to stake Child Warfare to the ground. Pulling out a combat knife, Cable moved to cut off Child Warfare's head.

"… **re**-member _you_…" Child Warfare said when Cable knelt down near him. "Now…. **Took **my _fath-_er. _Rea-_son why… I… **bad**."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Cable raised the knife. "And I don't care."

Before the blade severed Child Warfare's neck, a bullet knocked the knife out of Cable's hand. Deadpool had healed enough to move, even if he was still bleeding profusely. "Guess I lied about being out of ammo," Deadpool said. "What do you mean he's the reason you're bad?"

"He **took** my… _fath_-er…. So** a**-lone. _No_ one…. **Dy**-ing, then _**Apoclypse**_. _New_ **father**."

Suddenly, the few remaining mutants attacked. Restraining Deadpool and Cable, the mutants brought the pair to their knees. Healing instantly, Child Warfare pulled the katana out of his own chest and went over to Deadpool. Mimicking Cable, Child Warfare prepared to cut off Deadpool's head.

"Wait! Don't you remember me?" Deadpool said. "I'm your father, your real father. Remember the good times? When I shot you? The time you got beat by Ben Grimm? When Cable blew you up?"

Child Warfare paused and stood still, holding the katana in the air. He thought about what Deadpool had said. He brought the sword down to his side. Putting his hand on Deadpool's head, Child Warfare said, "No." Bringing the sword up, Child Warfare decapitated Deadpool.

Cable felt the mutants relax as their master did, and Cable broke free. He grabbed Deadpool's head and body and said, "Time slide by two."

Landing near the same spot near the hospital, Cable ran inside to reattach Deadpool's head before it was too late. Dr. Fries and Dr. Isley were there and would have stopped Cable, but they thought better of it. With sutures in hand, Cable reattached Deadpool's head. Five minutes passed before Deadpool healed and was able to move and speak. Jumping from the surgergical table Cable had placed him on, Deadpool said, "I have to find Kidpool!"

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Afterword:

Welp, we're back in the present. What did you think of Child Warfare? Comment, comment now!


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